Only When I Walked Away
by CecilyAurora
Summary: I didn't tell my family the truth for a long time. The truth that I knew about the child, the child that was mine and I had no clue who they are exactly. All I know is that somewhere out their, with her, is someone who is fifty percent me.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:** Okay, so I got this idea from when I was looking at Chad and his new fling's instagram. There's a picture of when he went to Australia with her and is surrounded by a bunch of kids that are in her family. I'm still a Chophia fan at heart so I got this idea.

**Background:** Sophia and Chad met in college- not on One Tree Hill. Sophia's younger brother is James. Chad is married to Nicky. Sophia lives with her parents in California. Chad lives with his wife in Buffalo, NY.

**Summary:** I didn't tell my family the truth for a long time. The truth that I knew about the child, the child that was mine and I had no clue who they are exactly. All I know is that somewhere out their, with her, is someone who is fifty percent me.

**_Only When I Walked Away_**

**Chapter One: The Truth**

_Chad's Point Of View_

"So what your saying is Sophia has a kid?" I asked calmly. It's been ten years since I've seen or heard from my ex-wife and now all the sudden her name is brought up constantly.

"Who is nine years old." He pointed out.

"So? She has a nine year old. Big deal." I shrugged.

"Do the math, Bro."

"Rex," I said holding my breath. My oldest brother decided to call me out of the blue because he read a gossip magazine while at the doctor's office that had Sophia in it with a kid. "There's still no way."

"You guys what, got a married in April, and a divorce in what, September?" I wasn't really paying attention to him much. A simple "Mhm" was all I responded with. "I know according to you, you two had one last horary before it's officially over."

"I still don't think its true. There's no way she would even think of doing that shit to me."

"Even after all the shit you did to her?" He made a point there.

"I still don't think so."

"Look at the picture I sent you. Lindsey wanted to see what Sophia was up to so she searched her Facebook and found it." Rex stated to me. "How does someone hid their own kid for nine months?"

Ignoring that comment I continued. "I don't know. I think you've gone nuts. I have to go. Nicky will be home soon with the kids."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice excuse." He laughed. "I'll see you Sunday at dinner."

I didn't tell my family the truth for a long time. The truth that I knew about the child, the child that was mine and I had no clue who they are exactly. All I know is that somewhere out their, with her, is someone who is fifty percent me.

I decided to do what Rex said to me and search on Facebook for Sophia, at least give me a piece of mind and to know what I left behind. A picture instantly pulled up. A young boy with brown hair and blue eyes, eyes that I could tell comes from my side of the family, and a picture of my ex. I had a son who I never knew.

Searching her Facebook some more I found new information. I found a name, Declan Maxwell Bush. If I remember correctly Declan was one of her favorite names when we where dating and married. I found a supposed birthday- June 2nd, 2007.

I heard the garage door open and the pitter-patter of feet I closed out the search engine and got off the computer.

"What ya doing?" I turned around to see my wife of the past eight years and watched as the oldest two boys ran up stairs.

"Just finished searching something's for Rex." I smiled kissing my wife's forehead. "How was your day?"

"It was okay. The girls drove me nuts all day and the boys drove me nuts this morning." She let out a small laugh. "Maverick refused to get dressed this morning, I had to tell him ten million times to get ready- he was late of course so I had to drive him. Lachlan decided it will be smart to tell me this morning to tell me five minutes before we left that he had detention, a first grader with detention? Really? Adeline wouldn't keep her pants on at all. You want to know how hard it is to wrestle a one and a half year old to keep her friggin pants on while being pregnant?" She shot me a look, a look that I responded with a laugh. "Evie thinks it's a good idea to throw a fit in ever store I had to go to today." Evie was a very spirited child, I chuckled. "They're both finally passed out in the car. You want to grab them?"

"Yeah, I'll go get them." I smiled placing my hand on her stomach and giving her forehead another kiss while resting my hands on her expanding stomach. "You go relax."

"There's no such thing as relax when you have two kids under the age of three and are pregnant again." She chuckled. "But a good foot massage sounds amazing right now."

"When the girls are in their beds I'll give you one." I smiled leaving the room.

Before I made my way into the garage I stopped and looked at the family photos placed hanging on the hallway wall. Photos of me and Nicky, photos of the kids from newborn stage to today, photos of my siblings in a ground and one of Nicky's siblings, and in the center was a photo of Nicky and mines wedding day. No pictures showing the past life I gave up when given the chance, no secret child that no one knows about. No nothing that show any of him. I made my way further and into the garage staring at the two angelic faces passed out in their car seats. Both girls with their blond straight hair pulled into pigtails on either side of their heads; purple and pink matching dresses adorn their bodies.

"Daddy?" I reached for our eldest Evelyn Madeline, known as Evie, first once I heard her stir in her sleep.

"Go back to sleep baby." I lifted her into my arms as she slowly rested her head on my shoulder. I moved to the far side of the car to remove Adeline.

"I'm up silly." Evie giggled giving my cheek a kiss.

"Go find mommy, Evie." I laughed placing her on the ground and watching her run off.

I finally figured out all the things that I will never have the opportunity to experience with Declan because of my stupidity. It was something I desperately wanted to change- and fast. Now if only Sophia was going to allow it.

When everyone goes to bed I will call her.

_Sophia's point of view_

Sitting in my parents Pasadena, California house I hissed at myself. I spent nine years protecting the only one I have to protect from the world and I still failed at it. I stayed inside- never once leaving for nine months. Loosing friends I had gain and a job. I moved in with my parents and slowly built my life back.

I read the message received from his sister-in-law, one that I can say word for word since I received it earlier today, the same sister-in-law that I was friends with in college and the same one who hooked him and me up.

_Hey Sophia,  
Long time since I've seen you. I'm just messaging to check in with you. I miss you very much. The kids ask how you are time and time again and wonder why their godmother isn't around. I do my best to explain it but as they are now teenagers (crazy ones) they don't approve of my answers. I was hoping sometime maybe I could come visit; maybe we can have a girls weekend. Your son is very cute! I didn't know you had a kid! He looks about the same age as my youngest, Hunter is. Nine right? It looks like you got busy if you know what I mean after the divorce. Just because you got a divorce from Chad doesn't mean you have to stop talking to me. I was your best friend. I miss you.  
-Lindsey_

"Soph, stop being so hard on yourself." My mother, Maureen, stated walking into the room. "You've been sitting on the chair since you came over.'

"I didn't protect him." I cried out.

"Honey, Declan is fine as can be." She smiled. "You've kept him in the dark for nine years from the outside world. I think it's okay if they know him a little."

"I don't want him to see him." I cried out more, but my words were like venom.

"He made the choice not to see him, which is true but, its okay at least only one picture. Maybe it will be a wake up call for him." My mother reasoned. She always tried to see the other side of a problem from someone else's perspective. "Yes it's been almost ten years, yes the guys a jackass but Declan still deserves to have a father."

"He made that decision for Declan, Ma, not me."

"Just if he gets in touch with you think about it before you just flat out say no. Just think about it, Sophia. That's all I'm asking."

"Mommy!" I heard a voice that melted my heart. "Grandpa let me take pictures and said if I become as good as him I can take over and rule the business."

"Oh really?" I smirked raising an eyebrow at my father.

"He's got an eye Soph." He smiled at me.

"See! I told you! You should listen to me for once!" Declan placed his hands on his hips, pointing his finger at me. "I'm always right."

"Oh really?" I raised my eyebrow again.

"I'll give him that baby girl." My dad smiled pulling me into a hug. "You did really good with him." He whispered into my ear. "You should be proud of the kid Declan's becoming."

"Thanks daddy." I was always a daddy's girl. "Okay, Dec, its practice time."

"Football here I come." Declan smiled a toothless smile.

"Score a touch down for me?" My dad asked.

"Like always Grandpa." Declan responded with a giggle.

"See you tonight for dinner?" Mom asked me when I gathered up my purse.

"We should be here." I smiled giving her a hug before running out the door.

One football game of the season little league done, only ten more to go I thought to myself as I tucked Declan into bed. "Goodnight my MVP."

"Night mommy." He smiled rolling over.

Being a mom was the best thing that ever happened to me. I loved it. I loved the way that someone depended on me. The way Declan looks up to me. Glancing at the hallway clock I decided to just lay in bed. I really did not want to bother my parents with sitting and watching TV with them and I needed to be alone and think about things. That's when I noticed my phone ringing.

"Hello?" I asked holding it up to my ear. I didn't recognize the phone number at all.

"Soph?" The voice asked. My heart dropped. I knew the voice, I knew it by heart, I could never forget it. He, after ten years was calling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: **Okay, so I got this idea from when I was looking at Chad and his new fling's instagram. There's a picture of when he went to Australia with her and is surrounded by a bunch of kids that are in her family. I'm still a Chophia fan at heart so I got this idea.

Also, this is my first time writing in four years. I'm a little rusty with it. I'm trying to improve. I miss writing and I miss One Tree Hill. Hopefully this helps that.

**_Chapter Two:_**

_Chad's POV_

"Don't you dare call me that!" She hissed over the phone. "You don't get too, not after ten years and the hell you put me through."

"Always the moody kind, aren't you?" I questioned running my hand over my head.

"Is there a reason you're calling me?" She questioned.

"I want to know him." I flatly said. "I want to know my son."

"He's not your son and will never be your son. You lost that right the minute you told me you wanted nothing to do with him."

"You're the one that moved across the country after everything! If I wanted to be with my son, I'd have to leave everything and move into a place that I had no job, no family and a person who's whole entire family was out to murder me."

"They had the right to murder you for the hell you put me through." Her voice was venom piercing me.

"I'm not fighting with you Sophia. I just want to get to know him. Is that a bad thing?"

"You're nine years too late, Chad."

"Let me please. I want to." I begged. I looked at the one picture I have of him that no one knows about. A picture that Sophia's mom sent me when Declan was born, a picture of him in his hospital blanket that I keep hidden

"We will see." I felt like Sophia's words stabbed me and made me loose my life. I needed to know him. He was a piece of me; my heart felt like a spot is missing from not knowing Declan.

"Sophia please, just let me get to know him and we will take it from there." I begged even more. Begging was the only thing I had left to do.

"On next Monday, I need to take a trip to New York City to help my dad out with his business. I'll bring him with me. This is your last time before I'm done for good."

"Thank you for this, it means a lot."

"Hurt him like you hurt me and I'll make sure my dad or brother kills you." She hung up the phone.

I sighed; feeling like the worst part is over, now to explain everything to Nicky- that will be difficult. I turned around to find Nicky staring at me.

"Who was that?"

"My ex-wife." Nicky knew about Sophia- I had to tell her. She deserved to know.

"Why was she calling at midnight?" Her eyes looked like daggers, drilling holes into my head.

"I called her." I said letting it out. "I made a mistake, ten years ago."

Nicky started crying. She took it the wrong way. "Nicky, I don't mean I made a mistake with you. God, no. I love our life and our kids and I love you." I grabbed her into my arms and held on to her tight. "I want to show you something," I slid the picture of Declan out of my pocket and showed her.

"Who is that?"

"This is Declan. Ten years ago, when Sophia and I got divorce she was pregnant. I did know about him but there was no way I could afford a child. She moved out to California after we divorced and I couldn't afford to move there either. I gave up on being there for him. I never met him."

She slapped me, right across the face. I probably deserved it. I kept a big secret from her all these years.

"I can't…" She started crying even more.

"I deserved that, I know Nicky." I rubbed my cheek. "She said she'll be in the city next week to help her dad's business and said I can meet him."

"This is a lot to take in."

"I know it is, but I want to meet him. Lets get my dad or your parents to watch the kids and go have some fun relaxing time in New York City. I want you there when I meet him."

"I don't know, Chad." She ran her fingers through her blond hair. She let her hair grow longer then it use to be when they first met, but it still looks beautiful. "I need time to think all this over. I need space."

"I'll give you what ever you need Nicky." I said with a sad smile. I wanted her to be okay with all this but it is a big shock to have to go through.

"I need time to think. Our whole relationship has been a lie, don't you get that?"

"It hasn't been a total lie," I pleaded. "I never lied about the way I feel for you, Nicky. Never once have I done that. I may have lied about Declan, but this is my family. I love my kids- all of them."

"I can't think of this." She grabbed her coat and threw it on. "I'm gonna go to my parents for the night.

"Don't be stupid, Nicky." I yelled. "This is not something to leave about."

"Chad do you hear yourself? You have a fucking kid that you didn't tell me about, a kid for the past ten years that you ignored. Don't you wonder what if the kid is anything like ours?" she cried. "That's all I can think about. What if you just ignore our kids like that?"

"I would never do that to you guys and you know it."

"How can I be so sure?"

"Nicky, I'm raising Maverick like he is my own- I love him like he is my own son. To me he is even if he isn't blood related." I proved my point I thought. "I don't want you to be upset with me, I know you will be. Just like everyone will be. I just want you to support me in being there for him."

"Chad, I will support you, I just need time to comprehend all this." Nicky gave me a soft smile, one she uses on the kids when she feels bad about punishing them.

"Okay, but will you please come to New York City with me? I'm gonna need you." I said pulling her into a hug, or tried too, her belly was now getting in the way of that. "And I know you need to have a relaxing weekend before the next football star joins us."

"Of course I'll still come, if you need me I will be there, Chad." She gave me a kiss. "And we do not know if baby five will be a ballerina or a football star but I do have the perfect name for a girl."

"Oh really? What if I do not agree with this name?"

"Too bad, I'm pushing the baby out and I get the final say." She stuck her tongue out at me. "Lilah Harriett."

"Lilah, huh?" I thought about it, and really liked it.

"Yes, Lilah."

"Then Lilah it is." I smiled at her. "Now lets get you to bed."

* * *

_Sophia's POV_

"Look who finally showed up for work." Dad laughed joking around.

"I had to go bring Declan to school because he slept late and missed the bus. Then I had to go talk to his teacher about next week."

"What's happening next week?" My dad asked.

"Well I know how you said we are always welcomed to come on these trips for work and I think Declan and I are going to go with you two to New York City."

"Does this have anything to do with a certain ex that lives in New York?"

"Dad," I stared at him.

"Spill it Soph." He said turning his attention away from editing photos.

"He called last night."

"And what?"

"Wants to meet Declan, so I said okay." I nervously said. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was doing something wrong with allowing this.

"If that's what you want to happen then I will support you and Declan, baby girl." My dad smiled hugging me tightly. "I just want you to be happy and it may finally be the chance to beat up the asshole."

"Charles you are too old to be beating up anyone." Mom laughed waking into the room. "As long as you're happy Soph, we'll be happy."

"So do you think its okay for him to see her?"

"Honey, our opinion means nothing to this matter. Its all about if you are okay with it."

"Mom, I'm just nervous. What if he's a big asshole to Declan?"

"If he searched out you to set this up, I don't think he's an asshole." My mom smiled.

"Any guy who breaks my little girls heart is an asshole."

"Charles calm down." Mom hissed. "Don't listen to him, Soph. Your dads gone nuts just let him think he can beat up someone."

"Then I guess if I may be able to beat him up, you can come."

"Good answer Charles."

"I'm going to call James and see if he will join me on this adventure to beat someone up."

"You are not calling my baby boy to send him to jail."

"AH, come on now. Can't a dad have some fun with his son?"

"Ask him tonight. He'll be at dinner."

"And please tell me what did you see in Dad?" I raised my eyebrow at my mom who was cracking up laughing.

"Why did I have to get a big folder full of work?" Declan asked when I picked him up later that day at school.

"We're gonna go with Grandma and Grandpa to New York City for the week. Doesn't that sound fun?" I asked him looking in the rear view mirror.

"Yes! A whole week of no school!" He cheered loudly.

"Yes and there's something else I need to talk to you about."

"What is it, Mamma?"

"Remember the pictures I showed you all the time?"

"Yes, they're of my dad who grandpa tells me him and uncle James are going to beat up." He smirked a smirk so much like his father's.

"No ones beating up anyone, Handsome." I smiled laughing a little.

"But they said I can help!"

"You are most definitely not helping beating up anyone Declan Maxwell."

"The full name had to be used there?"

"Yes it had to be Mr." I laughed. "What would you say about meeting him?"

"Meeting my dad?" His blue eyes lit up excitedly.

"Yes, he is going to meet us in New York. Is that okay?"

"Most definitely is Mamma, as long as he doesn't hurt you I'll be okay."

"With the way grandpa's going he wont hurt anyone."

"Good, cause my momma doesn't deserve to be hurt anymore." He stated.

"No one deserves to get hurt, Baby boy. So it's official? We are going to New York City?"

"Yes Mamma." He nodded excitedly.

It was official; she was going to be seeing the asshole again. Here's too the long week in New York City.

So what do you guys think of chapter two? If you have some ideas you would like to see let me know! I'll see if I can incorporate them :)

**Thank Yous! **

jenny85: I've been a big Chophia/Brucas fan since the beginning. I doubt they will ever find their way back together. I hope they would but I'm not getting my hopes us. Boo. I watched the show clip and read the article. Interesting from her point of view- I feel like she is still bitter, understandable though. I just want to see how he felt through the whole situation with the divorce. He never really spoke about it.

Dianehermans: Chad and Sophia to me also made me think what they had was love. I made him married to Nicky because the way the look in the Instagram pictures of each other looks like love and also an article on them I read online. It broke my heart, but he looks happy. In the end I do not know if I will make it a Chophia or Chad/Nicky ending. I do not want to ruin one family because of the happiness of another. I couldn't imagine tearing a family apart.

Akinka: Oh there will be drama from everyone surrounding Chad. I'm a drama freak. Chad certainly did have a different childhood with his mother leaving and coming back after ten years. I think it's another idea I used for this story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** So I'm still enjoying this story. I know people want a Chophia ending, but I do not know if that is reasonable. We will see. I have a snow day today so I'm trying to update but things are going to get hectic because its my last semester of college, ahhh! I'll try my best to update. Enjoy!

**Only When I Walked Away**

_Chapter Three_

Being in the city again made Sophia reminisce about her college life here. Going to NYU was a dream that she accomplished by working heard. Meeting Chad there was just a lucky perk at the time. Now she wishes she never did catch him in the awkward position and that she never had to raise her son by herself. She thought back to the time she told him about Declan.

_-Flashback-_

_"Now or never." Sophia spoke softly knocking on the dorm room door. She looked around the hallway at the papers covering the walls showing the different activities happening around campus and the people wondering around making their way from room to room. It was senior year for most people here, the spring semester of senior year. Finals were to start in two weeks so it was time to let loose for most._

_"Soph, what you doing here?" Chad questioned opening the door. They didn't make plans to hang out that night._

_"We need to talk, its kind of important." Sophia whispered looking down at the ground. She was embarrassed about having to have this conversation. They had always been careful and used protection just like she's been taught too since being younger. She didn't know how this could happen. "Can I come in?"_

_"Ummm, now's not a good time." Chad said moving out into the hallway. "The roommate is having people over and it's crazy in there."_

_"Oh, this is kind of something I don't really want to discus out here."_

_"Is everything okay?" Chad sounded worried._

_"Yeah, everything okay. I'll let you get back and I guess we can talk tomorrow." Her nerves were getting the best of her at this point. She wanted to just tell him flat out, but she did not want to ruin his night._

_"Whose here?" A girl opens the door wearing nothing but one of Chad's shirts, a shirt that Sophia knew all too well._

_"Ummm," Sophia ran off. She didn't want to look or think about what she just saw. He promised her the world and then was going to end it like this._

_"Soph, come back here!" Chad chased after her. Yeah, he knew he messed up big time. He wanted to blame the alcohol for his choices, but he knew she would never believe it. As he got closer, he grabbed her arm. "Will you stop running please?"_

_"I don't have anything to say to you right now. Please let me go." Sophia pushed Chad away before making her way outside._

_"I can explain, Sophia! Just let me explain!" He begged._

_"I know what I saw, I don't need any explanation." She turned around and rolled her eyes while resting her hand on her hip. "I thought you were different, different then all the other jerks in this town, but I guess you are just the same as the rest of them."_

_"I'm not the same as they are Sophia. You know that."_

_"I'm leaving after finals." Her eyes filled with tears. She told her parents she wanted to stay in the city, get the job of her dream as a journalist, just to make something of herself that has nothing to do with her father's image._

_"I thought you were staying here." He was shocked._

_"That was before the fact that I knew my boyfriend was a cheating asshole." Her words cut right through him like a sword. He never imagined he would hurt the brunette in front of him._

_"Can't you not make rash decisions right now?"_

_"Can't you keep it in your pants?" She hissed right back._

_"I don't want you going back to California right now Babe."_

_"Don't. Don't you dare call me babe! I am not, and will never be your babe again!" Tears were falling fast from her eyes right now._

_"Soph, please let me make it better. I'll do anything."_

_"Well sadly you're stuck for the next eighteen years." This wasn't the exact way she wanted to tell him, but when the words slipped from her mouth she couldn't stop them._

_"What do you mean stuck?" His eyes lit up staring at hers. He was confused and nervous at the moment._

_"You knocked me up." She whispered, low enough for him to hear it._

_"How is that possible? We used protection every single time. You're even on the pill." He justified. This couldn't be happening. He was trying to finish his pre-med major so he could follow his dream of being a pediatric doctor._

_"I don't know how its possible, Chad. I don't care about that. All I care about is that it happened."_

_"You can't move back to California now, Sophia. Not after you tell me that."_

_"I can do anything I want to. You can't stop me. If you want to be apart of it's life then you can come to California, if not stay in the city." Sophia turned on her heels leaving him stunned._

_-Flashback End-_

"Uncle James taught me and Sienna some new moves to help beat up someone!" Declan excitedly screamed as they walked into the hotel. "I gotta kick them in the stomach and in the neck. He told me that if my dad hurts you I have to use them."

"James!" Sophia hissed looking at her younger brother. "I said you and dad are not allowed to beat him up!"

"I know that, that's why we are having Dec do it." James laughed. The siblings looked a like- both having their father's raven brown hair but James received his mother's bright blue eyes while Sophia received her father's green ones.

"No one is beating up anyone!" Sophia rolled her eyes as they made their way to the elevator.

"I've been trying to say that to him since we received the phone call." Bethany laughed with her sister-in-law.

They arrived in New York City the day prior and got right to work with their parent's job. James decided to join them on the trip along with his wife Bethany and their two young daughters. Today the parents gave their kids and grandkids the chance to explore the city. Tomorrow will be the day that Sophia takes Declan to meet Chad.

"Mamma, it will be okay. I can always protect you." Declan smiled grabbing his mother's hand.

"Bud, you don't need to protect me, I need to protect you." Sophia smiled tapping Declan on the nose.

"Mamma, I will always protect you."

"And so will I." James smiled hugging his older sister.

"Aunt Sophia, did you know Momma yelled at daddy for cursing on the phone to grandpa?" Sienna smiled proudly at herself for telling the truth. "Momma said daddy ain't getting any sugar for the rest of the week."

"Oh really?" Sophia smirked looking between her niece, brother and sister-in-law.

"Yes really!" Declan laughed as Bethany and James blushed embarrassedly.

"Bud, why don't you go spend the rest of the day with Uncle James and Aunt Bethany. I need to do a few things." Sophia smiled bending down to her son's level. She made plans to meet just with Chad to go over everything before bringing Declan into the picture. "I promise though, I'll meet you guys for dinner when I'm done."

"But, why do you do fun things without me?" He put a pout on his face.

"Come on bud, we'll go to the zoo." James said.

"Uncle James, don't you know I'm too cool for the Zoo?" Declan raised his eyebrow at his uncle. "I am nine now."

"Well we will find something to do in this big city." James laughed shoving the boy down the hallway. "Go to your Aunt, I want to talk to your mom really fast."

"Okay," Declan smiled kissing his mother's cheek. "Be safe, Momma. I love you."

"I'll be safe, Dec. Love you too my boy. Behave for them."

"I'll try my bestest." He smirked running off to his Aunt.

"So what's up Baby James?" Sophia laughed using a childhood nickname.

"I don't exactly think I'm a baby anymore, Soph." He laughed back. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm just peachy." The nerves were getting to her.

"Nervous?" James asked receiving a nod as a response. "You positive you don't want me to come with you to make sure he doesn't hurt you?"

"I'm a big girl, James. I can handle him. I already know if he hurts me, Bethany and I will need you drag your ass back to California along with dad's."

"You got that right." James smirked. "He'll deserve whatever comes to him."

"No one is beating up anyone. As much as I hate him, James, I need to be happy that he gave me Declan. Without him, I wouldn't have an amazing kid. I can not allow the hatred to get in the way of his relationship with his father."

"Understandable." James agreed. "I just am looking out for you two."

"I know you are." Sophia said with a smile as she looked at her watch. "If I don't leave now I'll never make it there in time to meet him."

"Okay. Call if you need anything Sissy."

"You got it Bubbah." Sophia laughed.

He saw her step out of the cab from his seat at the window table in the restaurant Sophia told him to meet her at. Chad adjusted in his seat, the nerves getting to him. He hasn't seen her since the fight where he found out about the baby almost ten years ago. He told Nikki to stay in the hotel tonight because he had to at least do this alone.

"Hey." Chad awkwardly states standing up from his seat. "You look great Soph."

"Yeah, you too." She faked a smiled to him. "How are you?"

"I'm good. A little nervous about this." Chad stated. "I don't really know what to do. How are you?"

"I'm scared. Scared you'll hurt him."

Sucking in a breath Chad decided to come up with the best answer he knew. "I promise you this, Sophia, I will not hurt him. I know I was a jackass in the past and staying away was a bad idea, but I realized that now and I'm going to make up for it."

"Okay, just so you know I'm not going to pull James off of you if you hurt him." She shrugged letting out a dry laugh.

"I figured that." Chad didn't think anything of the threat. He would do the same thing if some guy broke his sister's heart more than once.

"I just wanted to meet to go over something's." Sophia said getting down to business.

"Okay, what are those things?"

"When you meet him, I want it to be only you, me and him. I don't want to stress him at."

"I understand that." Chad said. He knew he had to explain it to Nicky that Sophia only wanted them three together. Well maybe he wouldn't tell her that Sophia suggested it. He didn't want to stress Nicky out.

"I don't want you to talk about anything about our past. He doesn't need to know that at all." Sophia continued. "And finally, if he wants it to stop, we stop. Understand?"

"Of course I understand that Sophia. I want whatever he wants to do." Chad said. "I want to just get to know him."

"He wants that too. But it's not going to happen in a split second. He's a very complex little boy." Sophia said with a laugh. "Something's he does I still don't understand or get."

"Do you have any pictures I can see of him?" Chad asked as Sophia pulled out her phone and handed it to him. "He plays football?"

"Yeah, he most definitely got that from you. James has been trying to get him into basketball since he was born." Sophia smiled at the picture when Chad handed back her phone. "He's got your eyes though."

"Blue?" Chad questioned.

"Yes, blue." Sophia said. "I need to go meet Dec for dinner. I'll see you tomorrow." She didn't want to stay long with him, being in his presence still killed her inside. It melted her heart. She couldn't stop thinking about him since he called.

"Oh, okay." Chad frowned. "Thanks for this again, Sophia."

"I'm not doing it for you, Chad. I'm doing it for Declan." With that Sophia stood up and walked out of the restaurant.

End Chapter Three.

So next chapter will be the meeting of son and father. I hope you all enjoyed it!

Thank you to those who reviewed! I appreciate it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone! Here's Chapter Four! Schools starting to pick up a little- thank god for last semester of senior year!- but I found time to write for you all :) I hope you like this chapter! I wanted to continue but I like how it was a cliffhanger again! I wrote a one shot called Every Breath You Take- its a Brathan one.

Enjoy Chapter Four!

**Only When I Walked Away**

_Chapter Four:_

_CHAD'S POINT OF VIEW!_

"Morning babe." Nicky smiled noticing I was awake. "How long have you been up?"

"Most of the night." I shrugged. I couldn't sleep my thoughts just wouldn't rest. I was so nervous that he wouldn't like me that he wouldn't want to get to know me. "Don't worry about me though. How'd you and the next big football player doing?"

"She," Nicky corrected me laughing. "I think is going to be the next big soccer star with the way she has been kicking me all night long. Come here and feel." She placed my hand on her growing stomach. "Did you feel that?"

I nodded in response, "Its still amazing to think that she's going to be the last one."

"I think after five, we are safe to say we are done." She laughed. I loved her laugh, such a carefree laugh.

"I guess." I shrugged. "Besides the kicking, how'd you sleep?"

"Pretty well." She answered with a small smile. "How you feeling about today?"

"Nervous as I can be." I returned the smile. "I just don't know what to do, you know?"

"Remember when I went into labor with Lachlan and how you acted?"

**-FLASHBACK-**

_"Chad?" Nicky wondered into my office. It was nearly midnight and here I was sitting staring at the computer screen at nothing important._

_"What's wrong?" I could tell by her voice that something was most definitely wrong._

_"Its time."_

_Those two words scared me to death. I wasn't prepared for this. I still didn't finish reading those books that Nicky has been begging me too since we found out. I didn't know what to do. Sure there was Maverick, but he was one when I met him and over the whole newborn baby stage. Now at three years old, Maverick was easier to handle._

_"Its time?"_

_"You know time to go have a baby?"_

_"Oh." Was all that came out of my mouth before I fainted._

**-END FLASHBACK-**

"Just don't faint this time." She joked to me.

"Real funny Nick." I hissed. I wasn't up for jokes at this moment. In four hours I will be meeting my son for the first time.

"I thought it was." She shrugged hugging me. "Calm down babe, you're a great father to four kids already, four kids who adore you. I think Declan will adore you."

"Not after the way his family thinks of me."

"You were in college back then, young and naive. Don't hold it against yourself."

"Thanks for keeping me sane. I wish you could join me."

"I'll be there when it's all over. Plus I promised the kids souvenirs so I might as well start buying them."

"Don't spend too much. I know Adeline wants a doll as tall as her that's worth six hundred dollars."

"I won't, or I will try not too." She shrugged. "Go shower and I'll order some room service, Chad. We'll relax till you need to leave."

"Love you, Nicky." I kissed her forehead and rested my hand on her stomach. "and I love you, Lilah or Calix."

"Now you want Calix?" She stared at me shocked that I would pick such a name. I saw the name on her list for possible boys name.

"It means little handsome." I smirked. "Or we can do Stellan like you wanted if Adeline or Evie were boys."

"I'll think about it." She states as I walked into the bathroom.

The park was in full swing, it was during school break and it was after all Central Park, when I made it to where I was supposed to meet them. I arrived early to clear my mind a little. I still have to figure out how to tell my family- especially my kids. That will be the worse.

I felt the vibration in my pocket from my phone going off and pulled it out. Great I thought, it was my dad calling, just who I wanted to talk too.

"Hey," I answered pulling it up to my ear.

"Daddy," The voice giggled. I immediately knew who it was.

"Hey there Evie." I laughed. "How's hanging out with Grandpa Rex?"

"He's snoring, its naptime for him. Aunt Shannon's here."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah she's doing our nails, Daddy. Except for Adeline's. She won't sit still."

"Oh really?" I asked again. "They must look pretty, E."

"They're very pretty." She stated matter of factly. "Mavy and Lachlan are mean."

"Why are they mean?"

"They won't let me do anything. I can't even play video games."

"Go play with your dolls, Evie. I gotta go but I'll see you in two days okay?"

"Love you daddy."

"Love you too baby doll." I smiled ending the phone call.

Looking around the park he saw parents walking with their kids, kids playing with a dog but the thing that hit me the most was a father playing catch with his son. It broke me knowing that I could be doing that with all my sons if I wasn't being an idiot.

**-Flashback-**

_"Soph?" I called her. I called her over a hundred times since that day but she has yet to answer. "Please call me back. Don't do anything stupid like head back to California. You belong here with me."_

_"Still no answer?" Rex walked into my room. I came home for the weekend, I needed a break from the hellhole of that school._

_"Nope, nothing."_

_"What the fuck did you do man?"_

_"Something stupid."_

_"No shit." He pointed out. Rex would always tell me the truth even if it hurt me in the process. "Why the fuck did you let her go, dude?"_

_"Do you think I know that answer?"_

_"Well do something about it. Don't just sit here. Get a flight back to school and see her."_

_"She's probably gone already."_

_"You won't know until you try Chad."_

_"Ugh, your right."_

_"You pack, I'll book you a flight." He smiled at me walking out the room. I was going to make this right._

_Seven hours later I was back in the city and back at school. Quickly I dropped my stuff at my apartment and made my way to her apartment._

_I became very nervous staring at the door of her tiny college apartment. I finally had the guts to knock on the door._

_"What do you think you're doing here?" It was her roommate, Hilarie this time._

_"Please, Hilarie just let me talk to her. Let me explain myself." I begged._

_"You have two minutes to talk to her before I kill you." She hissed at me. I've seen Hilarie this pissed off only one other time and that's how I knew she meant what she said. "She's in her room."_

_I moved down the hall towards the room with the music blasting. "Soph?" I knocked._

_"How the fuck did you get in here?"_

_"Hilarie let me in. Please I just want to explain what happen. That's all."_

_"There's no need to explain Chad, your actions already let me know what happened."_

_I looked at her and she looked like a complete mess. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot from crying, her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, she wore a baggy sweatshirt the covered her body and yoga pants that hugged her lower body perfectly._

_"I need to though. It wasn't how it seemed."_

_"Chad a freaking girl came out of your apartment wearing your clothes." Okay so maybe it was what it seemed._

_"It was a complete mistake. Tyler and Brian wanted to go have one last crazy night before med school happens and it got a little too crazy. I don't remember anything that happened Sophia. I regret it completely. I just want us back to normal."_

_"There's no normal with us anymore, Chad. There's no us anymore. You ruined that."_

_"I want to help you with the baby. I don't want you to go to California. I want to be in its life."_

_"I'm not staying here and I'm not allowing you to put your dreams on hold." She said. Her eyes looked broken. I did this to her. I don't know how I could. Sophia is my everything._

_"I am willing to do it for you."_

_"Don't you get it? There is no reason anymore. You have your life and I have mine now."_

_"Soph don't do this."_

_"I'm not allowing you to give up your dreams. Go be that doctor that you want to be."_

_"But,"_

_"This is my choice Chad."_

_"I want to be in the baby's life."_

_"Well you lost that choice. Now please leave." Sophia begged. "Please don't call me Chad. I can't, I can't handle it. Just let me go."_

_I gave in and listened to her._

**-End Flash Back-**

That was the stupidest decision I have ever made. I think back and tried everything to get to see her and the baby. I did whatever I could. I tried applying to med schools in California but it was too late in the semester to do so.

I looked up and that's when I noticed her standing there with him, my son. Gosh he was so big. She started walking over to me with that dimpled smile on her face and I got nervous.

"Hi." She said letting out a breath.

"Hi." I responded with a soft smile.

"Chad," She softly smiled, "I'd like you to meet your son, Declan."

* * *

End Chapter Four.  
Next Chapter Will Be The Official Meet With Them.

Thanks to everyone who review! Keep up with them please!


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **so this is the last chapter of this story. I have some ideas for more stories that I'm going to try to write. Sorry this chapter took so long to be written. I had so much going on these past few weeks. My best friend got married, and being maid of honor I was so stressed along with her. My roommate is a major bitch and I'm stuck living with her till May 2015. Oh that will be fun. Expect a new story from me soon! I have two ideas and trying to figure out what one I like more to write. Enjoy!

**Only When I Walked Away**

_Chapter Five _

_"Chad," She softly smiled, "I'd like you to meet your son, Declan."_

"Hi there." I was scared and nervous. My nerves were getting the best of me. I didn't know what exactly to talk to him about. I didn't know what he liked or didn't like. I didn't know anything other than random facts Sophia told me.

"Hi." He was shy as can be as he looked over at me from behind his mother. I looked from him to her and I could see the resemblance between the mother and son. I missed so much of his life and I was going to try to make it difference this time around.

"Speak up Dec." Sophia smiled softly roughing her son's hair. "Its okay." She looked between her son and me. "Sorry, he's a bit shy at times."

"It's okay." I responded. I didn't know what to say, or what to do to make him more comfortable around me.

"How about we go throw a ball around?" Sophia suggested.

"Football?" Declan whispered just loud enough for us to hear him.

"Yes, football." I smiled. I noticed something in that smile, a smile that reminded me about how excited I was when I use to play football- excited and amazed.

"Mom, where's mine? I brought it."

"In my bad honey." She opened her bag and pulled out a football. Her and those big bags that she said she needed to hold everything in case of an emergency. Some things never really change.

I tried making small talk with her. I let out a little laugh, "Still using those big bags I see, Soph."

She put a little smirk on her face. "I have all that I need in her for any emergency."

"Momma, you're not playing. You suck at it." Declan giggled. So things really didn't change with her. She still was as bad as she was back then.

"Watch the language Declan." I shook my head laughing at the Mother in her coming out. "I'm not that bad." She pouted crossing her arms over her chest looking from Declan to me for some kind of reinforcement.

"You stink, even Uncle James and Grandpa said so!"

"I'm going to have to agree with him." I laughed some more. I loved this interaction I was having right now with them.

Sometimes thinking back I feel like I made a mistake to let her go and not even put up a fight at all. I should've been there for her and him. Sophia looked perfect to me right now. Her hair fell in soft curls pulled away from her face. Her shirt and jeans hugged her body perfectly. She was perfect, a perfect angel.

I shook my head out of that thought. I couldn't say I regretted letting her go. I'm married and have other kids that I love profusely. I do not regret any of my children at all. I regret the time I didn't get to spend with Declan, or the thought that my kids will be shocked when they find out the actual reason for being in New York.

I also had to think about Nicky in all this mess. She still has not come fully around with the idea of me keeping a kid from her, but she will if she ever gets to meet Declan- and that's if Soph even lets him come to New York to visit.

"Can we go play now?" Declan waited impatiently. He stood there with his hands on his hips with the football hanging from one arm.

"Yes we can." I smiled as he tossed the ball to me.

"Momma, you stay over here. We go play football." Declan smiled. When he said this I looked over at Sophia's face for some kind of look of approval. Instead I received a look of fright. She looked nervous to let me be a couple feet away from her with Declan by myself.

"I don't know about that Dec. I'll come sit over by you guys."

"I'm old enough that I don't need to be watched. He'll be there anyway!" Declan pointed at me.

"If you want to come over to us, Soph, it's fine." I shrugged looking over to Declan whom had the look of disappointment written on his face.

"It's okay." Sophia gave in. "Go have fun. I'll stay here."

We started walking away when her phone rang. I turned my head to hear if it was anyone semi important before making my way towards where Declan ran off too.

"Momma's always on the phone." Declan complained. "She says its business for Grandpa, but I want her off of it."

Declan was opening up to her in more ways then he thought was going to happen. He didn't think he'd open up fast or open up at all. But hearing the boy talk made him happy.

"I'm sorry bud," I knelt down to his height. "How about you throw first?"

"Can you tell me how I can get better?" He asked me. "Uncle James is better at basketball and Grandpa just does golf and that's boring."

"Yes, I sure can. I haven't played in a while but I'll try. You may even be better then me." I smiled tossing the ball to him before walking a few feet away. I looked over at Sophia who looked aggravated by whoever she was still on the phone with.

"Ready?" Declan smiled holding the ball up like he was about to throw it.

"Ready as I could ever be." I smiled letting out a little laugh.

For the next hour that is what we did. We bonded over football. I asked him questions and he asked me questions. It felt real for once, while it also made me feel horrible.

"See, she's still on the phone." Declan pouted, a similar pout his mother shows.

"It could be a friend, Dec. Just lets have some fun."

"Can we get ice cream?" Declan changed the subject as fast as Sophia use to do.

"You need to ask your mom, Buddy."

"But you're my dad so I only need to ask one of you."

"Well, she makes all the decisions Dec."

"Fine." Declan kicked his feet in the dirt.

"She may say yes."

"I'll go ask." Declan sprinted off towards his mother. "Mamma! Mamma! Can we get ice cream? Can we? Please?"

"I don't know buddy. Uncle James wants to meet us for lunch before the game." Sophia smiled.

"What game?"

"Remember uncle James wants to take you to see a basketball game?"

"Basketball's stupid, Mamma. I play football, not that." Declan pouted.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I know that. But please, just go for me?"

"No." Declan complained. "I wanna spend time with him since we leave tomorrow."

"You're leaving tomorrow?" I questioned. My heart just broke in a million pieces. I just got to know Declan and Sophia was going to take him away from me again? Not under my watch.

"Well, yeah. I need to get back to work and Declan has school."

"You work for your dad, Sophia. You can go back whenever. Declan's nine. He won't miss much school." I hissed. "You can't take him away from me again. Not again."

"Take him away from you again? Really?" She shot out like venom. The look on her face was pure hatred, hatred for me and hatred for the whole situation that I put us in. "If I remember correctly, it was your fault."

"Really? I tried early on and you just kept ignoring me. I gave up. I hate that I did but I had to. I had to move on. Your dad called after I sent letter after letter and told me to give up. You moved on. So you know what? I did give up." I was pissed. I was not allowing her to just up and leave again.

"Come on Dec. Lets go." Sophia stood up off the bench and turned on her heels. "I knew this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have allowed this."

"Momma, stop." Declan was getting agitated by the fighting. I could tell, anyone could. "I don't want to go. I want to stay here with him."

"Really, Dec?" Sophia looked stunned. I was just as stunned.

"You said I could get to know him."

"I did babe. But we need to go now. Grab your football and lets go." She demanded, and being her son Declan knew he needed to listen to her. I looked into Sophia's eyes. They looked completely broken. "Stay away from us."

"No!" Declan screamed. "I don't want him to stay away."

"Well when you turn eighteen you can decide Declan, till then you listen to me." Sophia grabbed his hand and dragged him away. Declan got loose and came running towards me. I let out a small smile as he ran and gave me a hug.

"Thank you." He whispered. I hugged him tighter. Knowing the Sophia I use to, she meant what she did. She was firm and when she made a decision- the decision was kept. "I had fun today."

"I did too buddy."

"Declan Maxwell, get back here now."

"I don't know when I'll see you again but, if you need me call me, okay?" I reached in my wallet and pulled out a business card. I secretly handed it to him as he stuffed it as fast as he could into his wallet.

"Do what you do best and stay away." Sophia hissed again. "I'm leaving with him tonight."

"You said tomorrow."

"Well plans change. There's no point in staying if you'll act like a jackass over mistakes you made."

I watched her walk away. She walked away from me, from everything and I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to run and stop her, but the other half told me to let them go.

I stood still. I couldn't move. It felt like my feet were cement and I could not even move them. Sophia use to be my world, I still wish she was my world to this day. But I know it would never be the same again.

I wished she let me see him again, but I'm not going to be the one to push it. I can't disrupt his life anymore. I can't. I need to let him have a life that doesn't consist of him flying across the country to see either parent. He needs stability, stability that would not exist if I let him in my life.

I turned and started walking towards my hotel. I knew it will be tough, but I had to do it. I had to keep my promise and stay away. I needed to so I wouldn't break Sophia anymore.

Thirty minutes later I made it back to my hotel room again to find Nicky watching television.

"I didn't expect you back so fast." She looked away from the television to me.

"Yeah well plans change." I mumbled rubbing my hands through my hair.

"Is everything okay?" She looked concerned, very concerned.

"Yeah. Everything is just peachy, babe." I sarcastically stated. "I walked away from them for good this time. She did it. She gets what she wants. Lets just get out of this fucking town and move on with our lives like I don't have another son out there."

"Chad, she'll calm down." Nicky tried being supportive for me, I couldn't thank her more for trying, but I knew Sophia. I knew she would be gone for good. "Give her space. This is probably stressful for her."

"I told her I'd stay away so I'm going to. I gave Declan my number if he ever wants to get in touch with me but till then I'm done." I threw my hands up in defet. I was tired of trying. It was only the first day I met my son and he was just taken right from me again. "Lets just get home. I want to see our kids."

"If that is what you want, Chad and then that is what we will do."

"I'm good at walking away. Its what I do best." I complained throwing things into the suitcase.

I packed up and left. Not looking back. I'll continue to do what I do best and stay away. Only nine more years till Declan decides for himself if he wants to see me. Till then, I'll wait quietly.

* * *

Well everyone that is the end of When I Walked Away!

Hope you all liked this chapter! I ended it like this because of how assy (if that's even a word) Chad was to Sophia. She deserves better then him.


End file.
